Well, of course I also think about my duties, my masters . . . And the people I've met here.
( And, uh, all the stuff going on here, but that's a given. )
Until I came here, I will confess my world was ( still is? ) rather small. It extended as far as my master's home, collector's shops, the clan compound, the sites of purification . . . and wherever my masters might take me in their purses and bags.
. . . Sometimes. Even I am not above it. But, I cannot move when I am fully a doll, and when I was in this form, I would be carrying out my duties - purification, or attending to my master. There was no space for me to do anything else.
( At least, that's how he seems to view it. )
I've just felt fortunate I can move and talk at all, sometimes. Almost no other doll can. ( The exceptions are but a handful, or thereabouts. ) And if I am greedy . . . well, it is not so here, but, in my usual circumstance . . . to stray from my purpose means I might stop being able to move and speak entirely.
( So it's not super worth it to wonder. He wouldn't be able to pursue it. )
[ His purpose is tied intrinsically to his ability to exist the way that he does... It's a strange limitation, but one that he supposes makes sense. ]
You'd be giving up on something important to you, then.
[ Something that makes Yuki himself, that allows him to exist as he is. ]
I grew up in a small village, where we were isolated from the rest of civilization. Getting out felt impossible, but as a child, I was solely focused on it.
[ He settles back against the couch, mug still clutched in his hands. There's a bit of distance in his voice as he speaks, like the memories are far away. ]
We moved around a lot, so we didn't settle in one place for too long and mostly relied on what the forest provided. Our numbers were small, but we were happy.
( worryfrog... But Kurapika is pretty assertive about when he doesn't want to talk about something, so Yuki trusts that. )
... It doesn't sound like you ran away, then.
( Since Kurapika mentioned a loophole, and all. Despite my meta, he can't imagine Kurapika would describe what happened eventually as a loophole, either. So... something else? )
My people possessed a specific trait that we needed to hide if we wanted to live in greater society. One of the tests was to ensure we could spend a day out without letting that trait get the better of us. I was supposed to take eyedrops that would reveal whether or not it had, but my friend switched them at the last moment to regular eye drops.
[ … ]
I failed it, but passed because the village elder never had evidence that I failed.
( Maybe it was cheating, and maybe the test had a purpose, but ... well, the past is past, and the dead are dead. It doesn't need to be more complicated than that. )
Was the world beyond the village what you'd hoped?
[ Is it? He… doesn’t know. For the most part, it feels distant for him, like a far off event that happened to someone else yet still left its mark on his heart.
Because he doesn’t know, he decides not to answer that question.
So, he answers Yuki’s first thought instead. Why would they indeed. ]
My people were known for the Scarlet Eyes. Any great surge of emotion would cause our irises to turn scarlet. When we were angered, this would be accompanied by an almost superhuman strength and a nearly uncontrollable rage. Our reputation, as a result, was poor.
But. hm. Well, it makes sense the test was particular on this point. )
... Still. That's only prejudice. ( Preaching to the choir, he knows, but. ) So the test was to control your emotions, I imagine. But ... it hardly seems fair, when these are things you were born with.
[ In part due to his abilities, but he’s not going to open that particular can of worms right now. ]
When I was only security for the Nostrade family, I wore them constantly to avoid negative reactions to my eyes and questions regarding my reasoning for being there. By then, I hadn’t learned how to fully keep my emotions under control.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 08:29 am (UTC)( And, uh, all the stuff going on here, but that's a given. )
Until I came here, I will confess my world was ( still is? ) rather small. It extended as far as my master's home, collector's shops, the clan compound, the sites of purification . . . and wherever my masters might take me in their purses and bags.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 08:33 am (UTC)But he relates, in a way. His world used to be limited, too. ]
You never thought about what might be beyond all of that?
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 08:42 am (UTC). . . Sometimes. Even I am not above it. But, I cannot move when I am fully a doll, and when I was in this form, I would be carrying out my duties - purification, or attending to my master. There was no space for me to do anything else.
( At least, that's how he seems to view it. )
I've just felt fortunate I can move and talk at all, sometimes. Almost no other doll can. ( The exceptions are but a handful, or thereabouts. ) And if I am greedy . . . well, it is not so here, but, in my usual circumstance . . . to stray from my purpose means I might stop being able to move and speak entirely.
( So it's not super worth it to wonder. He wouldn't be able to pursue it. )
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 09:03 am (UTC)You'd be giving up on something important to you, then.
[ Something that makes Yuki himself, that allows him to exist as he is. ]
I grew up in a small village, where we were isolated from the rest of civilization. Getting out felt impossible, but as a child, I was solely focused on it.
[ He has a sip of his tea. ]
There's always a loophole somewhere.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 09:16 am (UTC)well let's hope the loophole isn't genocide in yuki's case )
. . . What was your village like?
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 09:38 am (UTC)We moved around a lot, so we didn't settle in one place for too long and mostly relied on what the forest provided. Our numbers were small, but we were happy.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 10:15 am (UTC)... It doesn't sound like you ran away, then.
( Since Kurapika mentioned a loophole, and all. Despite my meta, he can't imagine Kurapika would describe what happened eventually as a loophole, either. So... something else? )
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 10:38 am (UTC)[ He wonders if he should divulge more, and he takes another sip of his tea to buy himself time.
…
Why not. ]
We had to pass an exam if we wanted to leave, so I studied for it and passed the written portion. The other portion… I cheated.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 10:45 am (UTC)He raises an eyebrow at the cheating bit, taking note of the delay in answer. )
Cheated in what way?
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 07:17 pm (UTC)[ … ]
I failed it, but passed because the village elder never had evidence that I failed.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 08:06 pm (UTC)( Maybe it was cheating, and maybe the test had a purpose, but ... well, the past is past, and the dead are dead. It doesn't need to be more complicated than that. )
Was the world beyond the village what you'd hoped?
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 10:50 pm (UTC)[ He looks down at the remainder of his tea. ]
My trait was activated, and we were chased out.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 10:55 pm (UTC)( He shakes his head, half a rhetorical question. Kurapika has been pretty vague about some things and not others, and while he does wonder...
He studies Kurapika for a few moments. )
... Is this difficult on you to recall?
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 11:03 pm (UTC)Because he doesn’t know, he decides not to answer that question.
So, he answers Yuki’s first thought instead. Why would they indeed. ]
My people were known for the Scarlet Eyes. Any great surge of emotion would cause our irises to turn scarlet. When we were angered, this would be accompanied by an almost superhuman strength and a nearly uncontrollable rage. Our reputation, as a result, was poor.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-14 11:11 pm (UTC)But. hm. Well, it makes sense the test was particular on this point. )
... Still. That's only prejudice. ( Preaching to the choir, he knows, but. ) So the test was to control your emotions, I imagine. But ... it hardly seems fair, when these are things you were born with.
no subject
Date: 2025-12-15 12:08 am (UTC)[ He doesn’t like it, doesn’t think it’s right, but it is the truth. ]
no subject
Date: 2025-12-15 09:51 am (UTC)... Must you hide it, even now?
no subject
Date: 2025-12-15 10:35 am (UTC)[ In part due to his abilities, but he’s not going to open that particular can of worms right now. ]
When I was only security for the Nostrade family, I wore them constantly to avoid negative reactions to my eyes and questions regarding my reasoning for being there. By then, I hadn’t learned how to fully keep my emotions under control.